The Crow's Nest

We ask Mark Crawford the tough questions...

Q: How do you sleep at night knowing your team licks bobo?

A: Ludes and Jack Daniels...

Q: Is it true that Messier tried to pack Pavel's fudge?

A: I cannot comment on that except to say that there was some pillow-biting and shirt-lifting occurring. Ah...scratch that. NO. Mark DID NOT try to push in Pavel's stool. Absolutely not.

Q: Speaking of fudge-packing, there is a nagging rumour that says that Harry Neale caught yourself, Moe Lemay and Juri Bubla in a comprimising position in the shower after a game...more specifically, you were eating Moe's ass and giving him a reach-around while Juri was busy performing fellatio on your balls...

A: We were all good friends...nothing happened that wasn't supposed to happen. To this day I keep in touch with Juri...we play 'Turkish Prison' and I play the Strict Warden.

Q: Did you do the voice for TV's Alvin the Chipmunk? If not, do you suck helium during games?

A: No, and No. But I do some backup singing on Michael Jackson's albums from time to time.

Q: Is that your real hair, or do you wear a helmet painted to look like hair?

A: No comment...

Q: Will your hairpiece be sold at the concession stands beside the Nachos and Cheese?

A: No, it will be next to the William Shatner and Burt Reynolds models.